Information for Children and Youth

Everyone is scared at one time or another. Feeling anxious is a natural reaction that alerts you to danger, so it can be very useful. Your body gets ready to react so you can flee or fight. For example, your heart speeds up and your muscles tighten. This is a healthy reaction. If you have problems at home, at school or with your health, you may feel anxious about them. These feelings usually disappear again when the problems disappear.  

Sometimes you also feel anxious for no apparent reason, or you are much more afraid of something than you should be. For example, you are afraid to go to certain places (e.g. a square or public transport), you don't want to do something because you are nervous about it (such as giving a speech or having blood tests) or you worry a lot about anything and everything, which makes it difficult to concentrate or to sleep.

If you are often very scared, suffer greatly from this and no longer dare to do certain ‘normal’ or important things, you may have an anxiety disorder. By avoiding things, the anxiety does not diminish, but often worsens. This can make it increasingly difficult, for example, to go to school, make and maintain friendships, do fun things or work.

If you notice that your anxiety is getting worse, don't keep running with it. The sooner you treat your anxiety symptoms, the easier it will be to get rid of them. Talk about it with someone you trust. For example, your friends, your parents, your teacher, the doctor or a confidant at school. 

Children and Youth

What is anxiety?

Everyone feels anxious or stressed at times. Anxiety is a normal and useful emotion that helps us in dangerous situations. It ensures that we can react quickly when something is wrong. For example, by fighting or fleeing. 

However, sometimes people also feel a lot of anxiety in situations that are not actually dangerous. This anxiety can be so strong that it affects your daily life. For example, you start to avoid things or feel so tense that you can no longer function properly. 

If you experience a lot of anxiety for a long time, this anxiety is greater than the actual danger and you suffer a lot from it, you may have an anxiety disorder.

What are the different anxiety disorders?

Separation anxiety disorder

Someone with separation anxiety, also called abandonment anxiety, is extremely afraid of being separated from the person they are attached to. Often these are the parents or caregivers. When they are separated, they often experience homesickness and are extremely worried about the safety and health of their parents or themselves. Separation anxiety in children between the ages of 8 and 18 months is a normal step in emotional development. Separation anxiety disorder only occurs when the behavior is no longer age-appropriate.

Social anxiety disorder

Children with social anxiety disorder have a persistent fear of failing or being criticized in social situations, such as when giving a speech or interacting with others, especially peers. In such situations, these children may experience palpitations, tremors, sweating, blushing, diarrhea, and sometimes a panic attack. Children with social anxiety disorder therefore avoid social situations with peers, which can lead to school refusal. 

Specific phobia

A specific phobia is a clear and unrealistic fear of a specific object or situation, which significantly disrupts normal functioning. Someone with a phobia has a strong tendency to avoid the stimulus that causes the fear. In a child with such a phobia, it is not always clear to those around him that the child is afraid. Especially in young children, symptoms of a specific phobia can be masked by crying fits, tantrums or clinging behaviour. Exposure to the feared object or situation can lead to a panic attack. The different types of specific phobias can be roughly divided into specific fear of animals, natural phenomena such as storms and floods, fear of blood, injections or injuries, fear of specific situations, for example unknown company, and other types of fear.

Generalized anxiety disorder

Someone with generalized anxiety disorder is excessively anxious and worried about everyday issues. Without any direct cause, they worry a lot about things that could happen. For example, they worry about what is happening in the world, money, their own health and that of their loved ones, school or work performance, friends or a possible divorce of their parents.

Panic disorder/agoraphobia

Children and adolescents with a panic disorder regularly have panic attacks without a clear cause. These attacks come unexpectedly. A panic attack consists of, for example, an increased heart rate, sweating, dizziness, fainting and nausea. Often these panic attacks are so unpleasant that a fear of having a panic attack also develops. This can cause you to avoid busy situations from which you cannot easily escape. For example, you no longer dare to use public transport, go shopping or go to a busy square. Some people even do not dare to go outside at all. This is also called agoraphobia (fear of open spaces).

Selective mutism

Someone with selective mutism can talk, but does not talk in certain situations because they are afraid. It is also called speech anxiety. Someone with selective mutism often talks at home, but in other situations such as at school or in the store they do not. So they are selective with whom they do and do not talk. Selective mutism is not a hearing, speech, language, or mental disorder such as autism, but an anxiety disorder.

What can you do about it?

If the fear is so strong that it gets in your way every day, it is important to get help from someone who knows a lot about fears. Together with your parents and the GP or the youth team, you can ask for a referral to a psychologist. Together they ensure that you get the right help. 

A commonly used way to learn to deal with fear is cognitive behavioural therapy, also called CBT. During CBT, you learn to think differently about the things that scare you. Often, when you are afraid, you think of the worst possible outcome. In therapy, you and a therapist will search for your fearful thoughts. You will learn to recognise these and replace them with more helpful thoughts. 

In addition, you will learn to tackle your fear step by step. This is called exposure. In this, you will do the things that scare you. For example, do you find it exciting to say something in class? Then you will slowly practice doing it anyway. Or are you very afraid of dogs? Then you will practice step by step to get a little closer to the dog. These exercises will help you to deal with your fear better. 

It is important that you not only practice in therapy, but also at home and at school. This way you will learn better and better how to master your fear!

Tips

Tips
  • Talk about your fear with someone you trust
  • Take care of yourself: get enough sleep, eat healthy and keep moving
  • Seek help in time

Frequently Asked Questions

Wat is anxiety?

Everyone feels anxious or stressed sometimes. Anxiety is a normal and useful emotion that helps us in dangerous situations. It ensures that we can react quickly when something is wrong. For example, by fighting or fleeing.

What is stress?

Stress is tension in your body or mind when you experience a lot of pressure. It helps you perform, but too much or prolonged stress can exhaust you. It is important to recognize in time when it becomes too much for you.

How can I help others who are experiencing stress or panic?

Stay calm and listen without judgment. Let the other person know that you are there for them. Help them to breathe calmly and offer practical support, such as going for a walk together or finding a quiet place. Don't push anything, support starts with presence.